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Totally Accurate Battle Simulator: wobbly physics armies for Steam
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator, or simply TABS, is the game where serious-looking military strategy collides with ragdoll physics and pure absurdity. You pick a battlefield, spend your budget on units — from pitchfork farmers and Roman legionaries to mammoths, ninjas and giant spring-loaded fists — line them up on both sides and start the fight. Then the magic happens: the little guys stagger, trip, fly apart and still somehow manage to win. Buying a global Steam key from us gets you the full version of the game with all its content.
What kind of game is this
TABS was made by Swedish studio Landfall Games — the same folks behind Totally Accurate Battlegrounds and Stick Fight. The game started life in Early Access back in 2019, and the full release landed on April 1, 2021 — fitting, since the whole of TABS runs on a great sense of humor. It's not a hardcore wargame: there's no tactical theory to memorize, the point is to experiment. What happens if a hundred peasants face a single giant? What if a wall of archers meets cavalry? Every battle looks new because the physics simulates every fall and every shove.
What's in the full version
The global key unlocks the whole game, nothing held back:
- All factions and eras — from ancient times and Vikings to the Wild West, secret and fantasy units;
- Campaign with dozens of levels where you tailor your army to each challenge;
- Sandbox — a no-rules, no-limits mode purely for creative chaos;
- Unit creator — build your own fighters and share them;
- Multiplayer — online battles against friends and local two-player on one screen.
How to activate the key in Steam
It's dead simple and takes about a minute. Open the Steam client, click «Games» at the bottom left, then «Activate a Product on Steam», enter the code you received — and Totally Accurate Battle Simulator drops into your library. After that you just download the game. The key works in the Steam client on Windows, and thanks to its Steam Deck Verified status TABS runs great on the handheld too.
How the battles work and why they're so addictive
The whole point of TABS is that the outcome of a fight isn't scripted in advance. Each unit has its own cost, its own weapon and its own way of moving, and the physics engine honestly simulates every collision, shove and tumble. So even identical formations can end differently, which turns the game into an endless laboratory. Want to field expensive giants and watch them fling infantry around? Or bury the enemy under a swarm of cheap peasants? Both work. Half the fun is watching the payoff unfold: the camera sweeps over the field, the little guys scream and somersault, and almost every battle spawns its own little meme.
How much content is in the game
TABS has plenty of factions, split across eras: ancient tribes, Vikings, the medieval age, Rome, the Wild West, plus secret, sci-fi and pure fantasy units like wizards and dragon-like beasts. Each faction has its own roster with unique behavior, so there are hundreds of possible combinations. The campaign unlocks them gradually through themed puzzle levels, while the sandbox hands you everything at once and removes all limits. Want even more? The built-in creator lets you sculpt your own fighters, tweak their stats and weapons, then pit them against the original units.
Region and platform
This is a global key — it isn't tied to any country and activates in Steam anywhere, no VPN or regional workarounds. There's nothing to enter manually: after payment you simply receive your activation code. The game is distributed through Steam, so you'll need a Steam account to play — if you don't have one yet, signing up is free and takes a couple of minutes.
Who TABS is for
If you love games where you can goof around and invent ridiculous scenarios, TABS is your pick. It's a great way to kill an evening solo or run a cozy tournament with friends. If you enjoy Landfall's style, check out their battle royale Totally Accurate Battlegrounds with the same signature goofy physics, the chaotic brawler Stick Fight: The Game, or the wild platformer Clustertruck. For now — assemble your army of mammoths and screaming farmers and see who comes out on top.
💚 Same game — another format
A few links that might help: Totally Accurate Battle Simulator as a Steam gift.